An Empowering Thought - a simple way to maintain your confidence

The idea of an empowering thought may seem to you, an adult person, as silly or pointless. I still recommend you to read this post, even though it is quite long.

The empowering thought is an emotionally safe place that helps you maintain your confidence even in the most challenging situations. 

Confidence is variable

Last summer I read Katty Kay's and Claire Shipman's book The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know (2014). The authors explore why women often struggle with confidence more than men, and how confidence can be cultivated. Here are a few key takeaways from that book to begin my story of an empowering thought.

First of all Kay and Shipman define confidence as the belief in one’s ability to succeed. Confidence drives action, which is critical for success. The authors emphasise that confidence is not just about feeling capable but also about acting despite self-doubt.

Secondly, confidence is variable and influenced by factors such as age, life experiences, and personal circumstances. Confidence isn’t static; it can fluctuate depending on where you are in life and the challenges you face and have faced earlier in your life. And how you have navigated through hardships. These moments can either challenge or boost your confidence. One important factor affecting confidence are societal expectations which can be different for men and women. 

Confidence builds on action, it has a strong connection to doing

Confidence often grows with experience, assuming you have either succeeded or learned from your not-so-successful-experiences. A growth mindset helps people adapt to changes in confidence. The ability to view challenges as opportunities for learning makes confidence more resilient ad stable, even as circumstances shift.

The confidence gap

Women, on average, exhibit less confidence than men, even when equally or better qualified. This gap affects career progression, risk-taking, and overall success. Internalised perfectionism is often poison to confidence. Many women suffer from an imposter syndrome and/or overthinking, and those are the first things you should get rid of when you want to boost your confidence. Give credit where it's due, i.e. to yourself, not to the others or the circumstances, if your contribution has been pivotal to the success.

Building Confidence Through Action

Confidence grows through action, not endless preparation.

 Practical strategies to boost your confidence are e.g.,

1. • Reframing failure as a learning opportunity.
   • Practising “imperfect action” rather than waiting for perfection.
   • Speaking up and taking credit for achievements.
   • Cultivating a growth mindset to focus on improvement rather than fixed ability.

An empowering thought can serve as a lifeline, helping you implement these strategies with greater ease and determination.

The empowering thought

Your empowering thought is an emotional state of a situation where you have succeeded and got a winning feeling without embarrassing, bullying, or making anyone angry. I recommend that you get yourself an empowering thought, and learn how to return yourself to the feeling related to it. 

The feeling that followed from a successful revenge is not what we are looking for. The essential thing is that no one has been humiliated or hurt in the situation. It will not do you any good to humiliate others.

A thought of empowerment is better than a lucky talisman - a thought cannot be forgotten at home. 

You can write it on the side of your notebook or someplace else so that you can see it when/before you need it. Perhaps save on the screen saver of your phone.

Your thought does not have to be an extreme experience, everyday success is enough. “I have done it before, I can do it again!”

For years mine was: “Think Boston”. I'll explain the history of this thought in my Get Promoted! Mentoring and Online Course material. 

For example, you knew how to choose the right words in a difficult situation and managed to get things resolved in the right way.

I suggest that you spend some time figuring out your empowering thought. Everyone can find her empowering thought. It will help you cope in many areas of life.

The point is to formulate it so that you will remember it in dire situations. It helps if you can think of it as a slogan.

Start by going through your CV and listing the most challenging and successful situations. Or in you private life. The context doesn't really matter even though I'm not quite sure if the same empowering thought will help you lift heavy weights and shine while presenting a business idea to a group of skeptical senior executives. Then you might need a few different thoughts to remember. Besides Think Boston  I have another one for private life situations where I need to foster extra diplomacy. 

When it comes to work pick one event that you think is the thing, the special memory that will return you to the winning feeling you felt when you succeeded. One is enough for work-related situations. One is easy to remember. Write it down somewhere where you can see it everyday.

One day, you'll notice that it comes to your mind automatically. Congratulations! You have learned how to control and maintain your confidence.